#7 - Sleep & Sleep Training
I didn’t sleep for the first 10 months after I gave birth.
My daughter was exclusively breast fed so perhaps that had something to do with it. Although professionally I've been told it doesn't make a difference, anecdotally it seems to be that way.
I didn’t have any issues breastfeeding which I’m grateful for.
I tried pumping but alas I could only produce a tiny amount , definitely not enough for a feed so I gave up on that quite early on.. I also could never do it uninterrupted and it felt uncomfortable.
Although this did mean I was the only one who could feed her .. which eventually took its toll..
They never tell you about bottle refusal either, who knew it was a thing?!
After 6 months of breastfeeding I decided it was time to switch her to the bottle but she was having none of it!
I had heard all the doctors and midwives harp on about nipple refusal but not the other way around so it came as a total surprise when she wouldn’t feed from the bottle..
I finally weaned her off at 14 months … 8 months longer than I had anticipated!
Anyway all that to say that she never slept .
As a newborn she would wake up every hour but that’s to be expected.
She hated being swaddled and would constantly break free from them. I bought so many different swaddles in hopes one would do the trick but all was in vain.
At 3-4 months , she was doing 3 /4 hour stints if I was lucky which was manageable.
There was one night when she was about 5 months old, she slept for a whole 5 hr block in her own cot!
I was elated when I woke up, I thought it was the beginning of a new day. I thought ‘I’ve finally cracked it’.
The next night I tried to recreate the exact bedtime routine, feed, bath, pyjama, etc .. every same detail but to my disappointment It didn’t happen again .. it was a fluke.
It was when she was nearing 6 months that she started the hourly symphony of cries and would wake up as soon as I tried to put her down. Was it teething , hunger, sleep regression? Whatever it was, it seemed endless.
This led to constantly co sleeping and also sleeping on me and waking up to feed every hour .. I was also made to feel like this was a terrible habit that I needed to break which caused even more stress and guilt. It’s lonely at 2/3am in the morning, baby is crying , I’m Exhausted from shushing and rocking her.. it was brutal.
If I were to go back I’d just tell myself it’s fine , whatever works in the moment is fine.. it won’t be forever..
For about 5 months I was never really truly asleep, I would also stop her from scratching at night so was always semi awake ..
the older she got the heavier she got and it caused havoc on my back.
At 10 months I was in so much pain I decided I couldn’t go on and I had to find a solution .
I was on the facebook groups a lot reading what other mums were saying about sleep trainers. It was controversial. Everyone had an opinion.
A few friends had used them successfully and these FB mums were telling stories about babies just like mine that miraculously started going to sleep . Others were staunchly against it, as if you were outsourcing your parenting and being cruel at the same time but I had tried everything and it was my last chance at some sanity so I went for it.
Some trainers offer a phone consultation and others may offer to stay the night or even a few nights so depending on your budget it’s doable and there’s also so much free info online.
I asked the sleep trainer if she could come over to see the bedtime routine and then start the training with me after which I would take over the night.
We put Blossom to bed, she cried for 5 torturous minutes, we went in picked her up without saying anything and lay her back down, she cried for another 5 mins , we went back again and after the third time , my little baby who hadn’t slept more than 5 hrs a night in her lifetime slept for a whole 12 hrs without waking up.
The sleep trainer had anticipated a wake up after perhaps 2 hrs but it didn’t happen.
I couldn’t have done this on my own.. I’d never let my baby cry before .. I needed someone there for support.
I sat on my living room couch with my husband in absolute shock watching her sleep on the monitor that we had never been able to use.
My arms were free , we were free to have dinner, watch tv, EVEN have a shower uninterrupted. It was truly magical!
15 mins of uncomfortable crying was all it took .. how I wish i had started it sooner.
Obviously not all babies are the same and the method doesn’t work for all but it worked on mine!
It took a good 2/3 months to nail it but for us it was a success.
Naps were their own unique challenge, same concept but it took her longer to catch on.
With some patience, consistency and a little professional help, it all worked out!
Now she’s 3, she snoozes peacefully for 12/13 hours a night unless she’s had a nightmare or she’s sick.
Wishing you sweet slumber x